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DRAMA at Delhi International

Generally speaking, giving yourself 2 full hours at the airport ends up being more than sufficient.  Having done this in over a dozen countries, you begin to ease through the formalities with grace.  And then you fly out of Delhi, India.  And you’re like what the eff just happened?

You have an 8:45pm flight.  You get to the airport by 6:30.  To simply enter the door of the airport, you have to provide a printed itinerary.  [Failure #1].  Then to print an itinerary you have to wait for 20 minutes for your airline desk to get through the five other procedural formality failures in front of you.  When you finally check in, it’s already 7:30.  What you don’t realize is that this is when the madness is really going to begin.  You fly though immigration (despite the questioning and scowls) because thank goodness! you require “Special Assistance” due to the children who are following behind you.  Then you wait for 30 minutes in the security line only to wait for another 20 to just go from the point you put your stuff on the conveyer belt to putting your boots back on (note, not your shoes – apparently boots can conceal things but shoes are totally safe).  What you aren’t told ends up biting you in the ass multiple times over.  1) After being told to put your phone in your bag, it turns out that actually, you must take ALL electronics OUT of your bag. [Failure #2].  2) There are separate lines for men and women to be frisked but after being ushered to a totally different area (and confused as all hell), you’re made to wait for an eternity because for every 2 “gents” frisking lines, there is only 1 “ladies” and apparently the “ladies” frisker is on break.   [Failure #3].  And 3) it turns out that the nice little bag tags given to you at check-in aren’t optional, if each bag doesn’t get stamped through security, you ain’t getting through security.  [Failure #4].

After being frisked, corralled like a sheep, given misinformation, being separated from your family, and asked for your passport/boarding pass 3 times, you begin to wonder if someone is going to tell you that you have to do a one-handed cartwheel while rubbing your stomach in order to pass the test (which, would have been [Failure #5]).

As you walk away from security, nearly high-fiving the other passengers who just went through the same madness you did, you pass by a man who says, way to keep it together Mom and Dad, to which I smile and internally reply, if you could hear my thoughts, you wouldn’t be congratulating me right now.

All said and done, it’s 8:30 and FINAL CALL is flashing when you go check the board to confirm your gate number.  So you run.  And then you realize that gate 14 is at the VERY end of the terminal.  And the terminal is like a mile long.  Not even the 10 people movers inside could get you to your gate on time.  But they do, barely making your flight. And now you’re extremely sweaty.  And ready for the beer they so kindly deliver (no water, no juice, just beer is offered).

On a fun note, the bathroom gender signage at Delhi International Airport is simply fantastic.  Shown below is one example, where a striking Indian woman is luring in her guests by seductively biting her veil.  As the Mister pointed out, aren’t these signs a bit confusing – if you were a man, which room would you choose to enter???

August in Shangh[eezy]

Now I know what it feels like to be cooked alive in an oven – or how it feels to hang out in a sauna for multiple hours.  With the hottest temperatures EVER recorded (in the 150 years of documenting), Shanghai was hotter than a witches titty (that’s the third time I’ve used that colloquialism in the last week and I’m pretty sure I’ve used it incorrectly every time) for the entire 12 days we were there.  We didn’t exactly choose to visit Shanghai during the hottest heat wave in history, it was based on some red tape.  The mister had to process his resident visa up there – we have an excuse.

Us, Day 1: Awww, what’s all the fuss about (with even the BBC reporting on the heat)?  It’s hot, sure, but nothing worse than we’ve experienced traveling through Southeast Asia or the Caribbean in the summer.

Us, Day 5:  Hot damn, is it okay NOT leave the hotel until dinner time?  Ironically for us, though, the sun setting basically gave no reprieve from the heat, 105F dropped to a balmy 95F.

Though we weren’t able to conquer as many sights as we would have liked, we fortunately had enough time there that we were able to knock out quite a few.

The first few days were somewhat geared around kids activities – the results of which were hit AND miss.

HIT: Shanghai Science and Technology Museum – the kids and I were SO impressed with this museum.  Around every corner and through every door, new discoveries awaited.  Our first stop, naturally, was Children’s Rainbow Land  (which is honestly where I thought the fun was going to start AND stop).  It was full of hands on exhibits, a sweet play area, and plenty of space to run around chasing rainbows on the floor.  After spending well over an hour there, we went for a snack, thinking we’d leave shortly thereafter.  While hunting around for a snake exhibit that we never found, we discovered the Animal World and the Spectrum of Life exhibits.  Though I’m not really much of a taxidermy animal fan, this may have been the most robust animal exhibit I’ve seen yet (better than the Museum of Natural History in NYC – mainly because it’s China and whereas animals are neatly organized in glass covered exhibits in the US  – here they are barely caged in by small wooden fences).  The animals were diverse and out in the open, set inside elaborate natural habitats.  As we made our way through taxidermy animal heaven and into the Spectrum of Life exhibit, we were just dazzled.  With a living forest almost as impressive (though not nearly as technical) as the California Academy of Sciences Rainforest, the Spectrum of Life guided you through a diverse forested landscape, up rock pathways, past waterfalls, and through giant [plastic] insect groves.  You should, probably, temper my excitement with the fact that anything that resembles open, green space at this point, makes me feel like I’m trekking through rural Mongolia.

MISS: After our experience at SSTM and because of our oldest’s fondness for anything reptile, we decided to go to Shanghai Insect Kingdom.  I thought we’d go see some snakes and lizards.  What I was NOT prepared for was a seal in an INCREDIBLY small habitat upon entrance into the “kingdom”, followed by a VERY shallow fish pond (above which there was pathway that you crossed over) FULL of fish – which I can get past – but also home to a Giant Green Turtle who wasn’t even covered by the water it was so shallow and looked like a statue because it had such little room to move around.  Needless to say, 5 minutes into our time there, I was in tears.  We proceeded to walk through the rest of the space, most of which was okay – insects and lizards and such – but some of which was equally as dispicable – a “petting zoo” with two goats in a metal cage, being fed dead branches by dozens of loud children.  OF COURSE, the kids loved it, though I did my damndest to explain why treating animals in this way was NOT okay and that had we known, we would NOT have supported the business.

SO-SO:  A playzone in Pudong, Action and Fun, that was one part awesome and one part wasted space.  Awesome was the giant slide that the kids rode down in potato sacks.  Awesome was a tree house they could climb in.  Awesome was the fact that despite the heat, there were only a handful of other kids there at the time.  Wasted was the LARGE space with little to fill up the in-between.  There was a reading area with nowhere to sit.  A toy kitchen with nothing to cook or cook with.  A closet with no dress-up clothes.  And a play dough table where an employee just sat making things – but not with the kids.  But after, we discovered an arcade with a little kids roller coaster, just adjacent to the play space.  Add it all together and it’s definitely worth a visit on a hot or rainy Shanghai day.

Because it was so hot, some of our trip was defined by our accommodations – as we ended up spending much of our time indoors.  There are four Hyatt’s in Shanghai, so we decided we’d do a Hyatt tour (we successfully completed SIX separate check-ins, including our one night at the Hyatt Hangzhou).  The mister started frequenting Hyatt Hotels through business travel and we’ve sort of gotten sucked into their great customer loyalty program, damn freebies!, they get me every time.   SO, for all your Hyatt stayers out there in the ethers, I give to you a full review of three of the four Shanghai Hyatt’s.

1) Hyatt Andaz Shanghai – located in the trendy Xintiandi area of the French Concession, this hotel (like the Andaz brand in general) is hip and colorful.  We stayed here on two separate occasions and while both rooms were nice by my standard, our first room was spectacular.  With mood lighting throughout and a curved facade, it felt like we were on a luxury spaceship.  The toilets throughout are Japanese style Toto toilets, which means that they open and close by itself, have seat warmers, and clean your private parts (both front AND back).  FANCY.  And the breakfast was KILLER.  A congee bar to write home about and every other Chinese and American/European style acoutrement you could hope for.  Great gym and fancy lap pool made of glass.  Plus, the location.  Just out the door, you’re able to walk through the tree lined streets of Xintiandi, find any sort of cuisine you can think of, and pass sites of historical significance.  I give it a 7.

2) Hyatt on the Bund – ah, Hyatt on the Bund.  This was our favorite.  Because of the location.  And the spa facilities.  And the breakfast.  Oh, and because of the beautiful rooms with views to match.  We upgraded to a suite both times we stayed and the rooms were spectacular.  Perhaps the nicest Hyatt room we’ve encountered yet.  Nespresso machines, a variety of fresh teas, a bath tub the size of a small swimming pool, and views overlooking the Huangpu River with futuristic Pudong to the left and the historical art-deco buildings of The Bund on the right.  I could have sat and stared out our windows all day at the freight ships navigating the river by day and the techno-lighted cruise boats gallavanting about by night.  It is my belief that the best views of Shanghai are seen from this hotel (which is also home to the highest open air terrace in the world – Vue Bar, located on the 33rd floor).  The one minus is that the pool is indoor and has the relaxed vibe of the spa facilities, so it’s hard to take kids there without feeling like you need to keep them quiet.  BUT, on weekends, they set up a play zone just outside, where the kids can fish for rubber duckies and power motorized boats in the pond.  This one gets a 9.

3) Grand Hyatt Shanghai – though we have stayed at some we liked, we’ve concluded that Grand Hyatt’s are for old, stuffy people.  They are much more formal and just not our cup of tea.  We thought we were going to stay here for three nights but ended up canceling our second and third nights so we could soak up more time at the other two Hyatt’s, which we much preferred.  The two positives were the pool – it was the only one out of the three that had a more family feel to it (ironically), and the beautiful quartet that plays in the lower level bar, whose music resonates throughout the hotel (it’s a circular column shaped hotel, so all rooms face towards an open column).  Scoring lowest, I doth give the Grand Hyatt a 4.

So yea, we’re basically Shanghai Hyatt experts now – definitely going to add that to the resume.

In and amongst our busy days laying low at our hotels, we also did some stuff.  Evidenced below, dusk was the earliest we got outside some days (this photo is taken from famous Waibaidu Bridge, China’s first all-steel bridge and a Shanghai icon since 1908).

We strolled up, down, and all around The Bund, an area just adjacent to the ever-bustling Huangpu River and one of Shanghai’s prime tourist destinations.   In the early 20th century, it was the center of multinational banks and trading houses and has remained home to some of the world’s most powerful financial institutions..  As such, the buildings that run the length are an eclectic mixture of neo-classical, art-deco, and gothic architecture (among other styles too deep for me to remember).  Bottom line is that it’s quite visually stunning.  And when you juxtapose the classic architecture of The Bund with the futuristic buildings of Pudong just on the other side of the river, you’ve got yourself a pretty unbeatable combo.  Pudong is home to Shanghai’s iconic skyline, as seen in the photo below.  The littles favorite is the rocket in the center, Oriental Pearl Tower.

We strolled through Fuxing Park in the French Concession.  Not surprisingly, it’s French in style and was erected by yup, you guessed it, the French, in 1909.  Groups doing tai chi and men playing mahjong overflowed its gardens.  What is mahjong you ask?  And why were people doing tai chi in the park?  Mahjong is a very popular Chinese card game that I’ve read is a bit like rummy and while women do play, it’s men who you see playing while sipping on tea and smoking cigarettes on makeshift tables on the streets (or in parks).  I hope to kick its ass someday.  As for tai chi, if you’ve been to any Chinese inhabited area in the world, you’ve probably seen groups of older Chinese people taking to the park for their morning dose of tai chi, but if you haven’t, this is what happens.  Small groups (though sometimes large where I come from in California) gather in the early morning, often times in parks but also in open spaces adjacent to the street, and go through their slow, rejuvinating, and mind balancing routine.  It’s relaxing just to watch though I often want to join.  Public exercise is wildly popular in China – mostly confined to middle-aged to elderly people, in both the morning and the evening, a stroll down the street will greet you with groups of people collectively exercising.

We ate at a few kick-ass restaurants.  And many others that will soon be forgotten.  The two very much worth mentioning are Lost Heaven and Hai by Goga.  Lost Heaven is a culinary and visual exhibit of folk Yunnanese cuisine, found in the western Chinese province, Yunnan.  While it may be true that tour groups frequent this restaurant, it surely does not lessen its authenticity (or relative authenticity).  It’s GIGANTIC, but a lovely ambiance is still maintained and the traditional decor is beautiful.  And the food is oh-so-delicious, with many vegetarian items on the menu – something that we hold at a premium after living in China for six months.  It’s conveniently located very close to The Bund and makes for a perfect destination after an evening walkabout.  The owner of Hai is from San Francisco, so we couldn’t help but like it.  In all honesty though, the view from the terrace is superb and the California cuisine delights were scrumptious.  It was quite expensive, but I’d go back for sure.

After mustering the energy to leave our hotel before the sun went down, we roamed through Yu Garden and Yuan Historic area.  We had gone to the UNESCO World Heritage Classical Chinese Gardens of Suzhou days before and in all honesty, Yu Garden put up tough competition.  Though it’s not nearly as large as the gardens of Suzhou, it had all of the right ingredients to create a classic enchanted atmosphere.  A maze of pagodas, ponds, large rock croppings, and sculptures, Yu Garden kept both the adults AND the children quite engaged.  There were small passageways galore for the kids to roam about and give mama a small heart attack when they roamed one (or ten) turns too far.

We also went to the circus, Shanghai Circus World.  It was okay, though it’s quite well reviewed on Trip Advisor, so don’t let my underwhelm stop you from going.  The last acrobatic show we had witnessed was the spectacular House of Dancing Water in Macau, so our point of comparison wasn’t really all that fair.  With the exception of a motorcycle stunt, where I think something like 7 motorcycles buzzed around one another in a 15×15′ metal sphere, that made me look away in fear, we left a bit disappointed.

And, we devoured dumplings every chance we got.  Ain’t nowhere got better soup dumplings than in Shanghai, where they were first created.  If nothing else, go to Shanghai for the soup dumplings.  GO.

And I also got an awesome case of travelers tummy that actually wasn’t all that awesome.  My first time, EVER, so I really shouldn’t complain.  What more, what more?  Oh, I ate no less than 20 bowls of congee in 14 days.  So in addition to being a Shanghai Hyatt expert, I’m also a congee connoisseur.  Who said that living in China as a housewife wasn’t going to contribute to my resume?  I’d hire me.

Shanghai was cool but I really hope to experience it again when it is really cool.  Cold.  As in not scorching hot.





This is What Jet Lag Looks Like

A little self deprecating humor never killed anyone, right?  I REALLY want to write something, but my jet lagged brain won’t allow it.  So instead, I’m going to show exhibits A-C, illustrating why.

It’s 10 am.  Day 2.  I feel like I closed a bar down last night.  Except that I very much didn’t.  And I just took the toaster cover off, ready to put the blender container on it.   This is how well I adapt when flying over 16 time zones.  NOT well at all.

This lady needs to slow travel her way around the globe.  Screw 12 hour flights.  It’s only freight ships from here on out.

1) Large pimple below left side of mouth.
2) Glossy eyes (that are quite bloodshot if you get a good view).  Right eye appears much smaller than normal (though, in truth, it’s always a little jacked).
3) Hair – fresh out of river bun, thrown up almost 24 hours ago.  So no, I haven’t showered.  And I’m planning on wearing the same thing I wore yesterday.

Yes, this look pretty clearly defines what my insides feel like.
And finally, EXHIBIT (C):

Just in case EXHIBIT (A) didn’t sufficiently show the size of the pimple.

I’m also trying to write a post about hip hippies, so please do me a favor, and stay tuned.

…until further notice.

Oh, and hey, on a positive note, my website is also jet lagged apparently and has javascript errors (no, I have NO clue what that means) up the whazoo… so you might not even be able to see the EXHIBITS.  Which would really be a shame.