That One Time I Did Two Hundred Laps Around The Apartment
Once upon a time, at 3:30 in the afternoon (quite beyond a reasonable nap hour), there lived a mother who had been cooped up inside her apartment with two crabby children for at least 3 hours. One of the two aforementioned children was accustomed to sleep being given to him on a platter (grapes, cheese, palm fronds and all), in the form of a nipple in his mouth. When those privileges were finally revoked, the platter came in the form of a moving stroller ride. As it turned out, the mother and her two children (along with their father) had recently landed themselves in the middle of a sub-tropical rainy season, in which stroller rides can become quite difficult (and the reason for which this had not yet been done, at such an ungodly napping hour). After battling the rain for a matter of minutes (at least 6 of them), with the constant whining of children in the background, the mother became desperate. In she went back into the apartment building, with the least knowledge of how to proceed; what she did know was that said crabby, spoiled, 2 year old HAD to nap. A few laps around their 13th floor were done before the children began to wonder why they had passed by their neighbors door four times; questions became too infuriating and into the apartment they headed. It was then that the strangest thing happened. As they entered the apartment and the stroller stopped rolling, neither of the children tried to escape (though they were both very much still awake). Upon realizing this, the mother decided that she had no choice but to go back and forth and back and forth, around the apartment, until the cheeky little monsters found their peace. And so, for what must have been at least 33 minutes and 221 laps, the mother paced, until BOTH (which is an altogether uncommon occurrence) children fell fast asleep.
I won’t say that they lived happily ever after, but I will say that 94 minutes of solitude were very much enjoyed by the mother.