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And Then, This Happened. - safariRoo jQuery(document).ready(function($){$('#aside .widget-archive > ul').addClass('fancy');});

And Then, This Happened.

And it isn’t about the time pictured here, when this little guy made himself over.  It’s WAY better than that.

Let me paint a little picture for you.  The little guy (almost 2.5) has recently been shotgun potty trained, which basically means we stopped putting diapers on him (we ran out of our Seventh Generation stash and I carry the guilt of not cloth diapering – so buying bleached cotton diapers here in China is just too much for me to handle).  Sure, there are drops (and the occasional stream) of pee here and there, but all in all, it’s been wildly successful.  As it turns out, however, all good things have their limitations.

Here’s the scene.  We’re enjoying a glass of bubbly and watching the sunset for the mister’s birthday, in the lounge at the Hyatt Kota Kinabalu.  You know the kind of place: quiet, mostly business travelers, no other children, attentive staff.  Tranquil and quiet, that is, until a  little ratbag (who just so happens to be of my blood) announces “poo!” (which actually sounds more like “pee”, just to get the story straight).  To which I’m all, there is NO way what he means is that poo has actually exited his body.  After a quick look, it’s determined that yay!, YES it has, but looks to be contained.  So I snatch the filthy monster up (Dad calls birthday immunity), quickly head for the bathroom (which requires walking through half of the lounge) but before I make it, I feel a warm gushy splash on my leg.  In absolute disbelief, I look down to see a runny mess (say, the consistency of half melted ice cream, chocolate ice cream) deposited ever so kindly onto my dress/leg.  We scurry into the bathroom to discover complete wreckage in the little man’s britches.  COMPLETE WRECKAGE.  So, here I am, trying ever-so-frantically to contain the disaster that is now covering legs, feet, ground, and toilet, when I hear a knock at the bathroom door.  When I open it, there stands the birthday mister, frantic himself.  He NEEDS wipes or paper towels or toilet paper STAT.  And here I thought I had it bad.  He proceeds to swoop in like a ninja and stealthily pick up piles of POO that apparently DIDN’T just fall onto my leg.  OMG.  I can’t stand acronyms, but OMG.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Fifteen minutes later, we had a good laugh and while I’d like to say that we ALL learned our lesson, well, I’d be lying (but we don’t need to go into the details).

Be warned potty training mamas and daddy’s out there, be warned.  Like most everything else in parenting, just when you think you have it figured out and things are under control… your kid poops on you and the universe says, SIKE.

Comments

Trish
Reply

OMG is right Lauren!!! I’ve experienced such situations and have total compassion for you….Sounds like you did what needed to be done in a calm manner…and ended up with the right kind of attitude that will sustain you through parenthood for sure! (the best is yet to come!)
Keep Enjoying!
Love you, Trish

I hope Keri sees this one knowing what she’s experiencing just now too…..:O)

Hesterwoman
Reply

Oh, I don’t know about calm…;). Finding the humor and having a good laugh solves most anything, though!

sharon kilwein
Reply

Thanks for my (SORRY) laugh of the day! I think the mister had the most trouble!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Agreed.

ashley
Reply

So so funny, after the fact, for you, Im sure! But makes for such a good story!
Love you, family!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Give it a couple of years and you’ll have your own potting training poop stories!

sharon kilwein
Reply

Did anyone else think D put on poo make up?

Hesterwoman
Reply

Um, that would be so extraordinarily disgusting, I’m not sure I could share ;).

Anna
Reply

Thank you for sharing this – I love a good potty training story (I’m still 12 inside and find poop hilarious). No mother goes unscathed when it comes to potty training – but I do think that’s one of the best worst (best) I’ve heard!

Hesterwoman
Reply

As am I Anna, as am I. Not so much when it’s on your leg and the floor of your hotel lounge, but otherwise, hilarious.

karen
Reply

LOLOLOL….we’ve been very lucky and Dino never did that…but he’s done other crazy and itcky things….our silly kids. HAPPY SITS DAY.

Hesterwoman
Reply

It’s what makes being a parent so entertaining ;). Thanks, Karen, for coming by safariRoo… please do come again!

Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady
Reply

Ha, hilarious. The fun we have to look forward to with potty training! Great share for today. Enjoy your SITS feature!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Hi Joi! Thanks for visiting! In all honesty, he was just about the easiest potty-trainer ever (other than a few inopportune poop mishaps)… you’ll get through it just fine! Come again!

Allie Burdick
Reply

Ha ha aha hahaa!!! Yep, that’s the way it goes. I’ve been there myself only we were on vacation and I had no diaper bag. I had to throw out my sons pants and underwear while my husband quickly bought a pair of shorts (for like $40!) and then tried to resume normalcy. My son also announced it – “Mom, I pooped!” Gotta love those boys!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Oye, oye, oye. Up shit creek with no paddle, so to speak? ;) The day after this story occurred, it happened again in the airport… the pants went in the garbage and the little guy was made to walk through the airport pantless, true story. Thanks for visiting, Allie, come by often!

Nicole Nenninger
Reply

You either laugh about it or you cry…looks like you chose to laugh! I think that’s a much better way to go about life. I have teens now, but the roughest part of parenting for me was the potty-training.

Hesterwoman
Reply

Aside from two poop mishaps, this little guy was easy as pie to potty train. Thanks for stopping by, Nicole! Do come again.

Christy@SweetandSavoring
Reply

Oh my gosh I love the way you told this story! Nice that you ended laughing when all of it was over :)

Hesterwoman
Reply

Thanks for visiting, Christy! Life would REALLY suck if you couldn’t find the humor in your kid pooping all over a hotel lounge floor ;). I’m sure we have many hilarious poop filled stories in our future, do come back!

Cassi
Reply

OMG is right! I’d be sooo embarrassed and would have to just leave that restaurant.

Hesterwoman
Reply

But I had a full glass of champagne left! ;) It was pretty mortifying, I’ll give you that much. Thanks for stopping by, Cassi, I hope to see you around these parts again!

vinma
Reply

Thanks for sharing this wonderful poopy story :) I am sure all the Mothers out there will have one of a kind potty training story to tell lol. So glad to know that you did a good job containing the damage! Happy SITS day :)

Hesterwoman
Reply

And thank YOU for reading it! And for stopping by, Vinma! Do come again.

Tiffany
Reply

wow! I’ve had a few close calls and OMG experiences myself especially with 4 Kiddies…but luckily they were all of the Ummm #1 sort…I’m glad dad was there to run ‘backup’… at least it made for a great post :)

Hesterwoman
Reply

Indeed, that would have been TERRIBLE had I been alone… especially because I wouldn’t have known about the floor surprise until walking back out after cleaning the bathroom disaster! Thanks for coming by, Tiffany. I hope I’ll see you again here or on Facebook!

Kimberly H. Smith
Reply

I could visualize you running across the hotel lobby holding him away from your body! Hilarious! I remember those times with my son where I didn’t bring certain items because I didn’t think I would need them. And lo and behold, life happens. Thank you for sharing. Enjoy your SITS Day!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Faced away from me, at a angle ;). Lo and behold, life happens… I love it. Thanks for visiting, Kimberley! Do come again.

Melissa
Reply

This is hilarious! Thanks for sharing. It’s stories like this that lets us parents know we’re not alone in having to deal with crap – pun intended.

Happy SITS Day!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Crap, poop, diarrhea, sh$%… oh the glamour of motherhood! Thanks for visiting, Melissa!

KyFireWife
Reply

I really wanted to do the naked potty-training thing, but was never brave enough. That and her preschool wouldn’t allow it, LOL.

{{ stopping by from SITS }}

Hesterwoman
Reply

Yea, being an at home mama (with a toddler not yet in school) makes potty-training SO much easier. Thanks for visiting!

Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama
Reply

Stopping by from SITS. Aren’t crazy poop stories a rite of passage for all parents? My daughter had a HUGE blowout when I was on maternity leave. I had just taken her for a run in the jogger, and when I took her into a restaurant to change her diaper and discovered the unholy mess, I realized I had no extra clothes with me. She rode home in just her diaper. Redneck and mother of the year moment in one!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Yup, poop is just in your cards when you’re a parent. And I’ve epicly failed on the blowout with no backup account MANY times, you’re not alone. Thanks for visiting!

Raquel @ Organized Island
Reply

Oh the joys of being a mom! Sounds like you took it all in stride. Amazing the patience you develop after being a mom. Hope you had a chance to finish the bubbly after all that!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Still working on the patience part, but laughing through it is my specialty ;). Thanks for coming to safariRoo, Raquel!

Bridget McGahen
Reply

Wow! Yuck! Hahah. Good information to know and definitely made me laugh!

Hesterwoman
Reply

It was pretty damn disgusting. Hilarious. But disgusting. Thanks for coming by, Bridget!

Amber
Reply

Good story! Been there! At my son’s 4th birthday party, he had a little too much cake. He gave me that “look” I calmly cupped my hands in front of him to receive the impending vomit. Ahh, the life of a mom!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Poop, pee, vomit, tears, boogers.. the day and the life! Thanks so much for stopping by Amber!

Kate
Reply

Oh my goodness!! I was just about to start potty training tomorrow. I have to say this post gave me a great laugh! You did a great job of painting the picture…even if it was a poo filled one. You’re right, anytime you think you have things figured out with kids, sike! Not so fast! I loved it! Happy Sits Day!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Hi Kate! Thanks for coming by. Potty training, for us, really hasn’t been all that horrible. BUT, I am an at home mama, which I think makes it leagues easier. Just leave em naked for a week, while you’re at home and they’ll get it. It will probably involve a handful of accidents while out and about, but that comes with the territory! P.S. I really love your site design, simple and stylish.

Twingle Mommy
Reply

That is hilarious! I’ve had many potty training disasters with my 3 kids. It’s the worst part of parenting a toddler in my opinion. Over from SITS!

Hesterwoman
Reply

Thanks for coming by! And congratulations on hopping OFF the processed foods train… sounds like you’re on a great journey!

Karma
Reply

Handled like a pro! xoxo lol

another jennifer
Reply

Oh my gosh! That must have been quite the scene. I’m not sure what I would’ve done. I’d want to run the other way! :) Happy SITS Day

Hesterwoman
Reply

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it! Thanks for stopping by, Jennifer, I hope you’ll be back again.

Patty
Reply

This brings back so many memories….oh the joys of motherhood! I remember the time I was changing one of my babies’ diapers, and low and behold he started peeing AND shooting out runny poop at the same time! I was screaming for someone to help me, while trying to cover up the explosions! Love your sense of humor! Stopping by from SITS.

Hesterwoman
Reply

Ah, the double whammy. Thanks for visiting, Patty! I hope you’ll come again.

Andrea
Reply

Potty training will be the death of every mother! Lol.

Hesterwoman
Reply

As long as you can laugh your way through it, you’ll survive! Thanks for stopping by, Andrea!

Melanie Davis
Reply

Ahh your life sounds a lot like mine….minus the China thing. My daughter and I were in a Sam’s Club store sampling some free water when she just starts peeing on the floor. I am saying , “stop…stop…stop..stop” She is looking back at me with great fear in her eyes and saying.. ” I can’t…I can’t.” The lady who was giving away the samples called for someone to come clean it up. The guy who came over to clean it up thinks it is spilled water. So he bends down with a paper towel and begins to wipe up my daughter’s pee. The lady and I yell…”No! Don’t do that!” I was horrified when we had to explain that the “accident” was a potty accident. I had to put her in a shopping cart and wheel her into the bathroom so we would not leave “pee marks” all the way there. Of course who brings an extra pair of shoes? Not me.

Happy Sits Day!

Melanie@getahoot.com

Hesterwoman
Reply

Love it. And clearly, I can relate. An extra pair of shoes?! I’m lucky to have an extra pair of shorts for the child ;). Thanks for coming by, Melanie!

Erin S.
Reply

OMG! This is insane. I am now scared of potty training!

Stopping by from SITS

Hesterwoman
Reply

Now, now, don’t let us scare you. Truth be told, this kid was EASY PEASY to potty train. What kind of life would it be without a few poop in the pants stories? ;) Just keep em’ naked and they’ll figure it out (for the most part). Thanks for stopping by, Erin! Looks like you have your hands full too!

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